Thirty-two years ago today I married the most beautiful girl in the world. We were married in a park, near a river, under the cool canopy of a tree, with all of seven in attendance. We bought two simple gold bands from a pawn shop (all we could afford), and had them engraved. The ring I gave to her said, My Song. The ring she gave to me said, My Hero. Kissing her that day, under that tree, in front of my mom and dad was ecstasy. I was certain. I was humbled. I was proud. I was stupid happy.
Weāve been partners in life ever since — a life filled with grace and peace, predictability and surprise, heart-ache and joy; a life of drama, comedy, tragedy and suspense. Just like most marriages. But weāve made sure to live our life as a team, as best friends, as each otherās champions. Through thick and thin.
Marilyn is certainly my song, but she’s also my hero. She has always been a woman of remarkable integrity and honesty. She is gentle, open and loyal in friendship.Ā She is humble and a girl without guile. Marilyn doesn’t have a pretentious bone in her body. She’s alsoĀ the embodiment of simplicity. Iāll say it as straight forward as I can — Marilyn hates spending money — on herself.Ā Sheās a very hard worker with a great servantās heart. Ā And my kids are extremely loyal to her (teen-age girl/werewolf not withstanding). If you ever wrong her or disrespect her I can warn you right now, Daniel will need to be talked into putting down his bat. I apologize in advance.
Marilyn has a wonderful smile, especially when she smiles in my direction. Sheās sensitive and compassionate. Sheās a gifted writer and thinker. She is a great example of a faithful and gracious wife, as well as an extremely attentive mom. I canāt wait to see the kind of woman and wife and mom Tassja will turn into because of Marilynās consistent and patient example.
And before I forgetā¦sheās also a bona fide saint. Anyone who is married to me qualifies for sainthood automatically. But she has stood by, forgiven, encouraged and unconditionally supported a man diagnosed with Bi-polar 2, ADD and OCD. Yikes! And did I mention sheās also followed me to the ends of the earth? So, yeah, sheās a saint. I would probably shrivel up and die without her at my side, without her love, without her courage and belief in me.
We have a strong marriage because of Christ, no doubt. Ā And I would say that, because of him, forgiveness is also the foundation of our marriage. We also trust one another completely. We rarely go to bed angry with each other ā I canāt even remember the last time. But if we are keeping score, just to be clear, Iāve had to say sorry exponentially more times than her!
Marilyn and I also share the same world-view, the same reverence for Scripture, the same respect for people, the same openness to new kinds of thinking and ideas, and we can discuss almost anything together ā which is wonderful, because I talk a lot! But that doesnāt mean we have the same general personality or always agree; far from it. We took a psychology profile years ago with about 30 other couples and we were the only couple in the roomāI repeat, the only couple in the room ā who were polar opposites in terms of personality traits. In the blue corner, etc. The test giver said we will have a phenomenal marriage if we donāt kill each other first! Weāve had some doozies over the years, and have needed the compassionate ear and firm advice of trusted friends to help us sort through some stuffā¦but weāre still standing. And weāre still polar opposites! (How are you guys doing? Me: Awesome! Ā Marilyn: Well, thank-you for asking)
When God opened his hand and blessed me with Marilyn, he did so knowing that of all the women in the world, she would be the best one to help me get to heaven. She would be the strength and support in my life. She would be the perfect choice to meet the emotional needs of our future children.
So today, I want to celebrate my wife, the most beautiful woman in the world, the most perfect gift God has ever given me. And today, like every other day, I still feel blessed, unworthy, lucky, grateful, proud and humbled. And Iām still head-over-heels. And I still try to make her laugh every day. And when she does, my heart still skips a beat. Ā This song by John Lennon, lyrics and melody, aptly describe my own feelings for Marilyn. I wish I wrote it for her.
“Woman”
Woman I can hardly express,
My mixed emotion at my thoughtlessness,
After all I’m forever in your debt,
And woman I will try express,
My inner feelings and thankfulness,
For showing me the meaning of success
oooh well, well,
oooh well, well,
Woman I know you understand
The little child inside the man,
Please remember my life is in your hands,
And woman hold me close to your heart,
However distant, Ā don’t keep us apart,
After all it is written in the stars
oooh well, well,
oooh well, well,
Woman please let me explain,
I never mean(t) to cause you sorrow or pain,
So let me tell you again and again and again,
I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah)….
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā – John Lennon
Happy Anniversary my dear friends. I know many years have gone bye but the memories of the wonderful years we shared together still remain.
much love
Dolapo
Hi Dolapo,
I was just looking at some cards Oyinda wrote me when you guys were dating and getting ready to marry. She still appears in my dreams, too. Hope you are in a great place spiritually and in every other way. Will always have the best memories of you! The classic one is when you said “Everyone was nodding” as you preached on and on at that early Allen Avenue service! Still makes me smile!
Happy Anniversary to you! I always think of your relationship when I see oranges…. Thank you for those early years in Dorchester.
Great to hear from you, Bob, and sorry for being slow at responding. The comments are starting to pile up!– which is a wonderful ‘problem’ to have. We have great Dorchester memories of our time with you, too, and hope life is good wherever you are now. You’ll always be “the former singing waiter” to me — I’d never heard of one till I met you!
hi Henry and Marilyn, it was an honour and blessing for my late wife Oyinda and i to have had a relationship with you. Together we learnt so much about love and marriage and because of the example we saw in you, we were also able to weather a lot of unexpected strains that come with marriage. I am sure if she were here with us today she would have said many thanks to you for your love and support for us. Congratulations and much love always
Dolapo
Excellent story of two lovebirds God put into the same nest. You both have an awesome heart for God and that is the binding power where two opposites attract strongly towards one another to make both stronger than two separate “ones”. I love you both tons.
My belated wishes to the two of you and fondly remember your Mumbai days and I love your words for Marilyn. Wishing you the best in the years ahead all the way till kingdom come!
Happy Anniversary!!! That was so beautifully written, Henry and describes the beautiful person that Marilyn truly is…I love you both and am eternally grateful for the impact that you had on my life….
Congrats Henry and Marilyn. Lovely words to your wife Henry. Not many men are able to express their love so eloquently. All that you say about Marilyn, I saw in her when I lived with you both in Lagos. You are truly a remarkable couple and you set a fantastic example for all of us. You were so respectful to everyone regardless of their education or lack of it, regardless of their standing in life and you sacrificed a comfortable life to help us in Nigeria. I learnt a lot during those times and I carry it around with me even now. Congrats on your anniversary. Eugene and I will always love and appreciate you not just for conducting our wedding but for many other ways you touched our lives. Love Charmian Ebhogiaye
WOW!
Congratulations to you both.
And you are right, Marilyn is a saint :-).
LOVE from both of us to both of you
Helene and Pierre xo
Happy Anniversary. You are both very blessed to have each other and I feel very blessed to have spent an extremely meaningful time with you in Toronto back in 1986. Lots of love, Karin
I believe it’s all down to the individual, there are many Christians, with all the spiritual knowledge who still don’t know how to be a good husband/wife. And non-Christians who do / or don’t know how to be a good husband or wife. My parents are still married after 40 years, my dad has never step foot into a church apart from the day he got married.
Such a beautiful photo and a wonderful story. You and Marilyn are a very dear and special couple. Henry, you’ve always had a way with words and the Word– I’m here today as a result. I will always remember our times in Toronto and Washington DC. Congratulations on 32 years of marriage. Love you both!
Ohhhhhh!!! Happy Anniversary, Henry and Marilyn!! What a beautiful love story. You made me cry and it’s not even 8a.m. : )
Miss you so. Think of you always. Keep it coming! It’s so good
to have a connection like this. We appreciate and are forever inspired by your passion for God and each other. We are blessed to have known you both. Love and kisses from Indy.
Happy Anniversary to you both! You are both true disciples of Jesus, an epitome of what true friendship is. I had the opportunity of living under your roof for 4years and I will always cherish you both. You taught me the true meaning of family and being there for one another. Daniel and Tassja are privileged and blessed to have you both as parents. Your sacrificial love for the less privileged, your heart of kindness, still remember the trip to my village, the smiles you brought to my late mother’s face and my family, the visit to various places in Benin, how many should I count. I pray that God blesses you both a million fold and make your children a source of blessing to your lives. May your love continue to bloom and grow every day. Congratulations Dad and Mom!! Because that’s what you are to me and my family. I am very proud of you both!
From the first time I met you both I was just in awe over your relationship with each other. I use your marriage of the perfect example of how it should be. (Probably one of the reasons that I am single… Because I haven’t found a bond like that). Congrats on this amazing Anniversary… I love you both so much! Your an inspiration! Xoxo
When I saw that pic my heart leapt!! I love what you wrote about Marilyn…so well put…I think of her all the time and treasure our times together in downtown Toronto!! I will never forget us driving into the city of Toronto in 1985 to begin that great Church!! I will treasure those memories for eternity!! Love you both!!
Would love an interview with you guys about those 32 years! Email me ASAP please to talk details. Thanks and congrats!
LIV and I love you both. You are a true hero to me and Marilyn is a saint.
Those are the faces I remember…
You scrubbed up pretty good for the day š
Wellesley St…Bathurst St…then then world…32 years…you’ve conquered it all. Congratulations! š
She was 20 years younger than you when you got married.
Congratulations!!!
I remember and love that picture! Oh man. Marilyn was certainly my angel. I wouldn’t be here today, were it not for so many of the qualities you mentioned. Happy, happy anniversary you two. Love you to the ends of the earth, but more – through all eternity.